


i want your corona hajime

by TallyHallKomaeda



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Crack, M/M, This is cursed, a little nsfw but like not really, please beware
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TallyHallKomaeda/pseuds/TallyHallKomaeda
Summary: hajimeme gets coronavirus yummy
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	i want your corona hajime

**Author's Note:**

> i am so fucking sorry

a world 

a regular world

what is it?

regular

like it is today

the year 2020

march 2020, specifically.

oh what and interesting time it was for talentless rat hajime hinata

hajime went swimming in applesauce with kazuichi when he went home to find out

he had the corona!!!!1!!!

dun dun dunnnnn

hajime ran to hospital

“i have corona”

the nurse emergency front desk lady screamed

she body slammed hajime onto a stretcher and threw him into a room

hajime let out a little cough

....into the woman’s left eye.

she screamed and left the room.

not only does hajime have corona but he now has blood seeping from his ears.

it’s fine though.

blood has a nice sound.

hajime waited for a bit until some guy in a gas mask walked in

the guy violently shoved a qtip deep inside hajimes nose

straight into his sinuses

just right up there

and hajime sneezed the qtip out of his now penetrated nose

the doctor threw up into the gas mask but said nothing

he took the qtip for testing

suddenly hajime hears a wheeze

so much wheezing

which one of these patients has asthma and why are they on the corona floor that’s just asking for death

the wheeze does not leave

in fact,

it gets louder.

the wheeze continues until,,,,

hajime watches his door as the hinges are very obviously being removed from the out side

eventually,

the door falls to the ground revealing a homeless man

oh wait no it’s just nagito

“nagito where is your gas mask”

nagito simply wheezed in reply,

“your hope will keep me healthy!”

hajime flicks nagitos tibia and tells him

“there is no hope in corona”

nagito gasps

“hajime you are obviously sick. there’s always hope!”

hajime uses his right to remain silent

nagito wheezes once again,

“well since i’m here,,,

hajime... will you show me your corona?”

hajimes eyes turn 420 degrees

“nagito you can’t have my corona”

“oh hajime always neglecting me. i see how it is.”

nagito then moves to hajimes head

hajime both screeches in fear yet also is completely devoid of emotion,

“nagito”

nagito starts licking hajimes ahoge

he licks

until

it comes loose.

the digestive properties of nagitos tongue were all he needed to have hajimes ahoge all to himself.

hajimes ahoge falls out in one piece.

hajime now feels a draft on the top of his head.

nagito snatches hajimes ahoge and sits down in the trash can.

“i’ve never been inside myself before, hajime...”

komaeda explains happily.

hajime claps his unwashed corona hands and cheeks

the doctor then comes back with the results

he witnesses the clapping but says nothing.

“sir your corona is in the 69th stage. you must keep you in a box.”

hajime enters the box, whispering,

“i just put the stick in the box...”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this cursed piece of shit i wrote 3 months ago
> 
> k-kudos if you want more of that 𝓀𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓀𝑜𝓂𝒶𝑒𝒹𝒶 𝓀𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉


End file.
